Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Mrs Grim's Holiday Gift-Giving Tips

In the spirit of the upcoming Christmas Holiday and since we are deluged with junk gift catalogs at this time of year, I decided to seek out some interesting and mainly useless gifts for you to give your loved ones this year. So here they are.

This is my favorite - For the pregnant missus or girlfriend. If I had a pregnant friend, I would seriously buy her this shirt, but I don't. But Wyatt, if you are interested, you can find it at

Here is a towel you can give, in case you know someone who is confused after their shower. Or maybe they are just a buttface and you want to let them know that.

This one is for that special homeless friend who is living in their car. It is a heated blanket that can cover up to two people (for those nights when a special friend is invited to sleep over), the cord of which can only be plugged into the lighter of a car. In the old days of Drive-in Movies this might have come in handy.

Here's one for the good cook in your life. It is an egg separator. Personally, I wouldn't be able to eat anything that came out of his nose, but the ad says "You get the job done - with a giggle!". How about with vomit?

Here is a good one for the bitter, scorned woman in your life. I'm not hanging up a sign in my house that says testicles, but if you know someone whose favorite song right now is "I will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor, this is the gift for them.

Here is another personal favorite. What a Turn On! Cuz we women love a man with a square penis.

Here is a party game I bet you don't have yet. Sit around with your loved ones after your holiday dinner and share the sounds of laughter (and much more). NOTE: Includes compact disc with flatulence noises that can alter the course of the game in an instant.

Watch out for that 'Silent But Deadly' penalty card.

Or how about a 'Bog Monster' for your nervous friends who are afraid of everything. Imagine their surprise in the middle of the night when they lift the lid and this guy jumps out. I guess I'm old school, I think Saran wrap over the seat is funnier for your guy friends. And for the special woman in your life, just leave the seat up so her a$$ hits the cold bowl. Hey, I just saved you $16.95 with that suggestion.

Lastly, we all know someone who is saving for something special - maybe a trip or home improvement, or something for their kids. Why not give them a place to put their spare change? As an added bonus, the bank makes farting noises when coins are deposited! Who wouldn't love that? This will make saving their money so much more entertaining. This can be yours for the low, low price of $14.95.

Those are my holiday gift tips for today. I hope this was helpful.


Loving Annie said...

ha-ha-ha-ha, I'll be purchasing the light switch :)

Wyatt Earp said...

I may buy the soap, put them together, and carve "ER" at the end of the Butt Bar. Then, I can give the "BUTTERFACE" soaps to Cecily Tynan.

Bawahahahahahaha!!! I kill me.

SoHoS said...

I want the egg separator...gross but heck if it works...I can never separate eggs.

RT said...

I LOVE the t-shirt (I have a couple of pregnant co-workers that would find it funny).

The whole testicles/tires thing is soooooo true.

april said...

LOL I love the light switch cover.

grimjack said...

And I'll be off to the post office to return some things.....

USA_Admiral said...

Yes they were helpful.

I love the bog monster but the Saran wrap is a very big mess (I was drunk).