Friday, March 21, 2008

Ways to keep your Sanity......just for Laughs


1.At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and Point A Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2.Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3.Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with That.

4.Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.

6.In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Sexual Favors". Do this even for the utility company payments!

7.Finish All Your Sentences With "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8.Don't Use Any Punctuation

9.As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Ask People What Sex They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, HOT MAMA

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.

9 comments:

Jeffro said...

Call in sick at work saying: "God told me to stay home and clean my guns."

RT said...

I especially liked the one stating not to use punctuation my students have issues with commas semi colons and apostrophes they really like to use apostrophes to make words plural whats up with that

USA_Admiral said...

I am going to try number six and number 7.

grimjack said...

You have done #5, haven't you?

Here's one- when you want to end a conversation with someone, raise your arms up in front of you, and say "Yes Master" as you walk away.

Aprilwine said...

Those are great!

This one really made me laugh.
10. Ask People What Sex They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.

Wyatt Earp said...

I am so doing #1. The suggestion, not tinkling.

SoHoS said...

I love this. Thank you!

Evil Lunch Lady said...

Hi! Just found your blog! I love this post! Thanks for making me laugh:)

AnneDroid said...

Hahahahahahaha. These are brilliant. We took the kids to the zoo recently - I really wish I'd thought of no. 18 at the time.

14. would be pretty funny too, especially if you dressed in safari clothes or something... Please someone do it then blog about it!